A wife decides to take her husband, Dave, to a strip club for his birthday. They arrive at the club and the doorman says, “Hey, Dave! How ya doin’?” His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before. “Oh no,” says Dave. “He’s on my bowling team.” When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he’d like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, “How did she know that you drink Budweiser?” “She’s in the Ladies Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them.” A stripper then…
Author: George
One sure sign that you’re getting older is how Santa seems to look younger each year. Cheers to another year of holiday fun! “One of the nice things about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with a present.” ~ Unknown Don’t think of it as me bribing you, think of it as spreading Christmas cheer! Don we now our ugly sweaters… Let’s party! Merry Christmas! “You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.” ~ Maya Angelou However tangled the…
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband,…..
1.Knock, knock. Who’s there? Thermos. Thermos who? Thermos be a better way to get to you. 2.Knock, knock. Who’s there? To. To who? Actually, it’s to whom 3.Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it’s cold out here! 4.Knock, knock. Who’s there? Razor. Razor who? Razor hands, this is a stick up! 5.Knock, knock. Who’s there? Alec. Alec who? Alectricity BUZZ! 6.Knock, knock. Who’s there? Europe. Europe who? No I’m not! 7.Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you. 8.Knock, knock. Who’s there? Amarillo. Amarillo who? Amarillo nice person. 9.Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candice. Candice who? Candice snack…
Late one evening, a woman came home from work after along day at the office. When she walked into the kitchen, she found her husband walking around wielding a fly swatter. “Albert, what are you doing?” she asked. “I’m hunting flies,” he said. “Oh, I see. Did you kill any?” she asked. “Yep, three males two females,” he replied in a confident tone. The woman was intrigued by her husband’s apparent fly knowledge. She asked, “But how can you tell the difference between males and females?” He replied, “Easy. Three were on the beer can and two were on the…
Alphabet has been bought by Google. After the official announcement of Google being the subsidiary of Alphabet, it has taken the domain abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.com. In 1999, this domain was crafted. When Google acquired this domain on Wednesday the same was updated- as per the domain database of Whois. However, the mystery of price remains the same. In August, Google made a big announcement of restructuring in a bid. The bid was to separate the core business like search and Android from ‘moonshots’ as driver less cars. Simultaneously, Google unraveled the new URL abc.xyz for its website. Purpose of taking this domain…
Clinical and research laboratories consume massive amounts of energy and generate a lot of waste. Lab directors can reduce the inefficient use of resources with changes in the lab’s operations and supplies. Follow these simple tips for a more sustainable laboratory. 1. Cut Unnecessary Energy Use Just like in residential and other commercial settings, cutting unnecessary energy usage is an effective way to increase your lab’s sustainability. In fact, much of the important equipment in your lab can be powered down for the night when not in use. Decrease your freezers’ energy use by checking rubber seals and replacing them…
Self-improvement boils down to slowly developed. samll increments- our precoius, overlooked hours, and the gradual evolution of self. Drink as much Water as Possible Water is vital for our brain and nervous system funtions! if you’re in the slightest bit dehydrated(even by 1%). you’re more likely to have a decrease in reasoning. attention, memory, and language, Drink up! Express Gratitude whether it be an appreciation phone call, surprise flowers, or a simple prayer to emit positive energy towards our loved ones. gratitude helps us see the world differently,and allows us to open up and become more vulnerable! Get Up Early in…
Most of us enjoy playing Volleyball in our neighbourhood and have our own team there so we want to make our own new volleyball team and looking to give it a good name, then below are a collection of some good options to give some names to your new volleyball team. We sometimes even want to show our creativity by giving a funny name to our team. We have compiled some funny, classic and legendary names for your volleyball team. As you know, selecting a name for a baby is very difficult, so is selecting a name for a volleyball…
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of dice. She says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless.” With that, she strips to the waist, rolls the dice, and yells, “Come on, Southern girl needs new clothes!” As the dice bounce and come to a stop, she jumps up and down and squeals, “Yes! Yes! I won! I won!” She hugs each of the dealers, picks up her winnings, and her clothes, and quickly…