Dating after sobriety can be challenging. And even if you’ve been sober for years, the idea of a relapse or slip-up can still be overwhelming.
But it’s important to remember that recovery is a process—and relationships are a part of that process.
Hopefully, this guide will help you navigate your relationship while living sober.
1. Talk to your partner about your sobriety.
When you’re in a new relationship, it’s important to talk about your sobriety. The best way to do this is to be honest about your past and what you want out of the relationship.
If there are certain things that trigger cravings (like going out drinking or smoking), talk about them with your partner so that they know what might come up later on down the road.
2. Reassure your partner that you love them and want to be in the relationship.
When you are ready to tell your partner about your sobriety, it is important that they know that this isn’t a decision that was made lightly. You love them and want to be with them, but you also need their help in staying sober.
They can support you by being honest with themselves and others when they feel like drinking or using drugs again, which will make it easier for both of you to have conversations about the topic without getting defensive or angry at each other.
If possible, try making plans together so both parties feel like partaking in something fun together that won’t get in the way of your decision to live sober.
You should also reassure them that even though there may be some bumps along the way as everyone adjusts their routine around this new lifestyle change, things will get better within the relationship without alcohol being involved anymore.
3. Talk about how they can support you.
It’s important for them to know that this isn’t just about what they can do for you; it’s also about how this change in lifestyle will affect both of you.
Let them know that even though the addiction is gone, there are still struggles every day–and those struggles may affect them as well!
Share how they can be helpful and supportive in your new lifestyle. This article shares seven great examples of how they can do this.
4. Decide how to proceed with the relationship after that conversation.
Once you’ve had that conversation, decide how long you want to stay in the relationship. If it’s a coworker or friend and they’re not your primary support system, then consider whether their presence is worth the risk of relapse.
If your partner has been supportive during this time and doesn’t seem bothered by your sobriety, consider leaving things as they are until you feel like moving forward with them.
You could also ask them how they feel about dating an alcoholic who hasn’t had a drink for three months (or whatever duration makes sense for both of you).
Finally, if there is no chance of your relapsing or slipping up at all–and if this person is truly understanding about alcoholism–then consider taking things further and seeing where it goes.
5. Prepare for the possibility of a relapse or slip-up when deciding how long to stay in the relationship.
It’s important to be aware that relapse is a possibility. Even if you have been sober for a long time, it’s possible that you will one day slip up and use again.
That’s not necessarily something to worry about or feel guilty about, but it can be helpful to think about what you will do in such an event and how your partner might react.
If your partner relapses, try not to take it personally. They likely won’t mean any harm by this action and may just need some extra support at this point in their recovery journey.
If possible, try talking with them about what happened so both of you can process it together without letting things escalate into arguments.
It’s also a good idea to create a safety plan together so that you can agree on how to proceed should one of you relapse.
For example, you can make a pact that should one of you relapse, the other will take them to Hollywood Hills Recovery to help them get back on track.
Conclusion
In the end, it’s up to you and your partner to decide what’s best for your relationship. If you have decided that sobriety is right for both of you, then congratulations!
But if not, don’t be afraid to seek help from others who have been through similar experiences and learn how they handled their relationships with their partners while living soberly.
